Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
