I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
