Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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