that's an acceptable place to lick
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
