try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Girls should come with a carfax report
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize