Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
