Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
