video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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