just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
