oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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