he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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