Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
