So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I can't put those talents on a resume
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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