and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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