I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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