no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
