How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
