like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize