He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
