According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
