The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
false alarm, still single
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
