Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
