Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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