the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
