everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
