I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
