I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
