I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
