Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
