Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You left your phone here
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