S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I don't deserve a penis
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
