I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize