I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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