btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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