Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
