you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
