just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
