Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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