Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
