I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
