I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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