Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
