Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize