Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
This house was built for laser tag.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
