As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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