I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
