This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Everclear isn't food dammit
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
