Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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