you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
