Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
