i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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