that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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