if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
