this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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