if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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