Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
