Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
