Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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