That's when you crack a 10am beer
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
