She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
birth control should be required to get into college
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
