Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
