she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
